I remember right after Oli was born, thinking to myself, "how can I possibly love something in such a little package so much?" I couldn't believe this little guy was my responsibility. I couldn't believe that JR and I created him and that he was all ours.
As it is for all new parents, the first few weeks were full of ups and downs. For a while he thought the best time to be awake was between midnight and 4 am. We couldn't understand why he would just eat and eat and eat... and then spit up half of that half an hour later. He pee'd all over the place, as baby boys tend to do and sometimes he made us question if we were really cut out for this "parenting" thing after all. Mostly, though, he just made us happy.
About 4 months after we set out on our parenting road, I told JR one day, "I think we should have another one!" I'm pretty sure he thought I was crazy. But, Oli had warmed my heart so much. He made me happier than I had ever felt. And he had given me a purpose in this life. I wanted him to have a little brother or sister to share this world with.
When Oli was 7 months old we found out we were expecting his little brother or sister! We were ecstatic! Right away we started thinking what it'd be like if this baby was a boy... what if it was a girl? How was Oli going to react to being a big brother? How was this going to change our family and our lives? A couple of months before Oli turned 1 we found out Baby Janik #2 was another boy! We prepared for his first birthday, knowing in a few months, he'd have a little brother.
We decided that Oli's first year should be all about him. Most of our family and friends didn't find out we were expecting a second little one until Oli's first birthday, when I was already 6 months along. And what a surprise it was for them :)
I think everyone was happy to know there was another little one on the way, although, they were in shock, I think. They couldn't believe we were able to keep a secret like this for SO LONG! It was hard not to tell- we wanted the world to know we were having another baby, and more importantly that Oli was going to be a big brother. And we knew he would be an amazing big brother. But it was important to us that he had time to us for himself. That he'd get a chance to be the only child, if only for a little while. We just wanted him to feel how loved he was, because he filled our hearts with love...
At just 4 months old, Oli became the inspiration for the family we wanted to be. And now, 3 1/2 years later, we know we made the right choice. He is an amazing big brother to Athan. He has such a big heart and so much love for his little brother AND his little sister. He hates when Athan is sick. He already sticks up for him around other kids and he just loves him.
Every morning he kisses my tummy and says, "Good morning baby! I love you!" and throughout the day he will say, "Hi!" to our little Jilly Bean.
He is an amazing little boy. And while it scares me to think of how all of the issues with Jillian and this pregnancy might affect him, I can only be proud of the little guy he already is. I think there's a reason he was our first. I think there's a reason God gave him a perfect heart. He's here to love his siblings, and to teach JR and me a thing or two, too. He's here to show us that sometimes the biggest inspiration comes in the littlest packages.