Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dear Jilly

Dear Jilly,
Tomorrow you could enter this world. Well, I guess technically, if you felt like it, you could come today. But you seem to be awfully cozy in there so... I have my doubts about today.
Assuming you wait until tomorrow (and the doctors decide to induce) you will have only one last ultrasound before you enter this crazy world of ours. Only one more time will doctors have to poke and prod you while you are still in my tummy. I know you're tired of it- your kicks at the magic ultrasound wand every time they try to look at you have not gone unnoticed... But, hang in there little girl, there should be only one of those left. I wish I could say that would be the last time anyone has to poke and prod at you, but sadly, there will be much, much more of that once you're on the outside. If I could trade places with you I would and I know Daddy feels the same way too...
We can't wait for you to be in our arms. We can't wait for you to just be here with us. And even though shortly after you are born, the doctors will wisk you away to start their poking and prodding nonsense on the outside, just know we love you more than words can say and if we could, we would change all of this.
Your big brothers are getting excited and anxious to see you :)  Oli asks every day, "Is Jilly almost coming out?" and says he can't wait to hold you and say, "Wow! Her's is heavy!" Unlike the doctors, he thinks you are going to be a tank! Although he tries to be anti-girl toys right now, I think, like Daddy, he can't wait to have a tea party with you. He told us the other day he wishes he could help fix your broken heart. Already your oldest brother has an infinite amount of love for you.
Athan is excited too, although he doesn't understand quite as much as Oli does. Every day he lifts my shirt to talk to you- because talking through my shirt just won't do for him. He has a list of things he wants to teach you, like jumping, and watching movies, and playing superheros, but mostly, he says, he wants to teach you to be naughty. Yes, Jilly, you already have a partner in crime waiting for you on the outside. And when that happens, the outside is going to be in trouble! It's a good thing we have a few superheros flying around this house to keep us all safe...
Daddy and I? We're excited too :)  We're scared for you and what you will go through. We know it's not fair to have to ask for you to fight so hard from the moment you enter this world, and we are so, so sorry about that, but please know we are here fighting with you. To say our hearts are broken for you seems so wrong, now that we have been shown twice what a truly broken heart is. So, I'll just say our hearts ache for you. They hurt for what you have to go through, but somehow, because of this they are whole and are full of love.
We have a rough road ahead, but we will travel it as a family. Whether you come today, or tomorrow, or next week, we can't wait to finally have you in our arms. We can't wait for our family to be complete. We can't wait for our last little puzzle piece to be put in place.


  1. Good luck to your little Jill! Sending good vibes to you and your family!

  2. Best of luck...my thoughts are with you all!